PET COSTUME CONTEST
by Shelley Norman

“Now don’t those look good,” Eleanor said as she looked over her friend’s shoulder at the cupcakes she was arranging on a tray.
“Gillian made them just for today’s party,” Lizzy said straightening up. Then with a somewhat suspicious look on her face she held one out to her pal, “would you like to try one?”
“I think that would be a good idea for quality control purposes and all that, since I’m co-chairman of the seniors’ center Halloween party,” Eleanor said reaching for the treat.
“Yes, of course, quality control,” Lizzy
chuckled knowing her friend’s sweet tooth was the real reason.
Eleanor carefully pulled down the orange paper wrapper and then took a huge bite, her eyes got wide and started darting around the room. Landing on the trash can near the door she flew across the room and made a couple unladylike noises as she ‘disposed’ of the cupcake into the garbage can. “There was something seriously wrong with that cupcake,” she said as she came back to the snack table, “it tasted like tuna!”
“Nope nothing wrong at all,” Lizzy said with a huge smile as she placed a little card by the tray labelled, ‘Fishy Feline Cupcakes’. “This is a Halloween Pet Party remember Ms. Co-chairman. This is the pet snack table. The human treats are over there,” Lizzy pointed at the table on the other side of the room where Caroline was setting out bowls of chips and trays of cookies.
“Well that’s a relief. I was a bit worried Gillian might have tried subbing anchovy paste for butter again. Those were the worst Christmas cookies I’ve ever tasted,” Eleanor said.
“Yet, if I remember correctly you ate about ten,” Lizzy said with a giggle.
“Well enough about that,” Eleanor said with a wave of her hand, “where is your little Toodly-Woodly, I can’t wait to see his costume.” Lizzy gave a whistle and her pug waddled out from under the table. “Oh how darling,” Eleanor bent over to pet the dog. “Are you the cutest bumblebee ever or what?” Toodles appeared to nod his head making his bug antennae bounce. “He’s a shoe-in to win the costume contest,” Eleanor stated.
“I don’t know,” Lizzy countered. “There are some pretty good costumes this year. Did you see Gina’s cat? It’s dressed as a fire fighter. Or Freddie’s hamster, it’s dressed as a ‘ham’-ster sandwich.”
“I really don’t think putting a pet rodent between two slices of bread and carrying it around like that equals a costume, or good pet parenting,” Eleanor said shaking her head.
“He didn’t put the hamster between two slices of bread, he cut a whole loaf in half and put the hamster’s clear travel cage in the middle so it looks like a giant submarine sandwich. Hammy is safe and sound in his cage,” Lizzy explained.
“Did I hear you say there were ham sandwiches over here,” a balding man said from behind them.
“No, we were talking about Freddie’s hamster sandwich,” Lizzy said, then noticing the fish bowl with tin foil over the top, she pointed, “what’s going on here, Stewart.”
“Meet Gus,” Stewart said proudly holding up the goldfish in its bowl. “He’s dressed up as his favourite YouTube star, Hecklefish. This is his tin foil hat.”
Eleanor and Lizzy exchanged a look before Lizzy shrugged and said, “I give, why does a goldfish need a tinfoil hat?”
“ “The same reason everyone should have one,” Stewart said. “To protect your mind!” And then with a cautious look around he and Gus headed off towards a group of men playing cards in the back corner of the room.
Lizzy and Eleanor were looking around the activity room of the seniors’ center at all the adorable pets in costumes, there were lots of dogs and cats but there was also a pot-bellied pig in a tutu, a parrot with a pirate eye patch and a turtle with fairy wings, when a breathless woman covered in bandages approached them, “ladies, there you are,” she said.
“Nice costume Rhonda, but it’s your pet that’s suppose to be dressed up not you,” Eleanor said.

“I’m not wearing a costume,” Rhonda said.
“But the bandages? Aren’t you suppose to be a mummy?” Lizzy questioned pointing at the yards of gauze wrapped around the other woman’s arms, neck and face.
“Oh that. Bugsy got a bit upset when I tried to put his costume on him,” Rhonda said reaching into the large tote bag she carried. “But it was totally worth a few little scratches. Look how cute he is,” she said pulling the rabbit from her bag. The other two ladies looked at the lop-eared rabbit, he looked exactly the same as usual. Rhonda looked down at her bunny, “hey! Where’d your costume go?” She looked back into the tote and pulled out a severely chewed up black bow tie. “Bugsy! You ate your costume? How are you suppose to be ‘James Bun, double-0-carrot’ without your bow tie!”
“You got that injured putting a bow tie on your rabbit?” Eleanor asked.
“I think he wanted to be the bad guy not the hero, and that’s what upset him the most,” Rhonda said cradling her pet. “I shouldn’t have given him a gangster name.”
Before Lizzy or Eleanor could come up with a reply to that Jacob Clark, the other co-chairman of the party committee at the seniors’ center, stepped up to the podium in the front of the room. “If I could have everyone’s attention,” he said tapping on the microphone for emphasis. “The judges have finished their deliberation, and are ready to announce the winner of this year’s Halloween Pet Costume contest. If I could have the envelope please.” A lady handed him a bright orange envelope which he made a big show out of opening. “This year’s winner is.... Freddie and his hamster Hammy the ‘Ham-ster Sandwich’.”
Eleanor and Lizzy exchanged eye rolls as Freddie walked up to the front of the room to claim his giant orange ribbon.

Shelley Norman is a child care provider, freelance writer and farmer. Her writing has appeared in various magazines, journals and anthologies throughout Canada and the U.S. She has one published children’s book, ‘Bruce County Counts‘. Visit her webpage at www.facebook.com/ShelleyNorman.Writer