Oshawa, Ontario


The earliest known settlement in Oshawa started in the 1400s when the Lake Ontario Iroquois settled near the Harmony Creek. Today, with a population of over 166,000, Oshawa is the largest municipality in Durham Region. It is home to three post-secondary institutions and is rich in arts and cultural assets, with over 500 cultural businesses, events and festivals.

www.oshawa.ca  

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Overboard!

A man fell overboard from his little sailboat, and was thrashing around in the water when another boat pulled up. "Jump in, we'll save you" - they screamed. "No" cried the drowning man, "God will save me". The scene was repeated twice more and then a helicopter hovered over the man. "We came to rescue you" yelled the pilot. "No, God will save me" was the response again. The man drowned, and as he crossed the Pearly Gates, he ran straight to Jesus. "I placed my faith in You, and You let me drown?! ""Hey!" said Jesus. "I sent three boats and a helicopter".


The Nervous Crew

A very nervous first time crew member says to the skipper, "Do yachts like this sink very often?" "Not too often," replied the skipper. "Usually it's only the once."


An Expensive Snore Cure

A woman was nearing the end of her tether – every night her husband was snored so loudly that it kept her awake. She decided to call the family doctor to see if there was anything that could be done to relieve her nightly suffering. “Well, there is one operation I can perform that will cure your husband of his snoring,” said the doctor, “but I must warn you that it is rather expensive. It will cost you a deposit of $15,000, and payments of $1,000 for 48 months, as well as money for extras.” “Good grief!” exclaimed the woman. “That sounds like I’m buying a yacht!” “Hmm,” the doctor murmured, “too obvious, huh?